For the Newcomer

Welcome to Al-Anon. We are so glad you are here. We know that you will find help and hope either in our local group or in any of the other 26,000 group meetings found in 115 countries. Here are some answers to some of the most frequently asked questions about our fellowship.

Who should I expect the first time I attend a meeting?

Newcomers are welcome at any meeting. At present, our Friday meetings are step meetings, so they operate slightly differently from general meetings. Meetings start promptly at the listed time and last exactly one hour. The only thing we ask you to share is your first name; otherwise, you are under no obligation to share during a meeting. You are welcome to just be present and listen. We will provide you with our newcomers’ literature and some contacts from members of our local meeting. Members are available to answer questions before or after the meetings. We strongly encourage any newcomer to attend at least 6 meetings to get a good sense of what our fellowship is like and what it's about.

Do I have to say anything at a meeting? 

Not at all! We only ask for your first name; otherwise, it is 100% your choice whether to share or simply attend to listen. We are just glad you came.

Will anyone say I've been there?

One of Al-Anon’s basic principles is that of anonymity. Meetings are confidential, and we do not disclose who we see or what we hear at meetings to anyone.

How much does Al-Anon cost?

There are no dues or fees in Al-Anon or Alateen Meetings. Most meetings pass a basket for voluntary contributions (suggested $3 cash or Venmo). Members are asked to contribute what they can afford. This money allows the group to pay rent, provide literature, and offer support to Al-Anon at the State and Worldwide level. We ask Newcomers not to contribute for their first three meetings, allowing them to purchase literature if they like.

Is this a religious fellowship?

Al-Anon Family Groups are a Spiritual Fellowship, not a religious one. We avoid discussing specific religious doctrine, and members of all faiths or none are welcome. Our Twelve Steps ask us to find a “power greater than ourselves” who can help us solve our problems and find serenity. Each member is free to define that power in their own way.

Who are the members of Al-Anon and Alateen?

Al-Anon and Alateen members are people just like you and me- people who have been affected by someone else’s drinking. They are parents, children, spouses, partners, brothers, sisters, other family members, friends, employers, employees, and coworkers of alcoholics. No matter what our specific experience has been, we share a common bond; our lives have been affected by someone's drinking.

What is alcoholism? 

Alcoholism is widely recognized as a disease of compulsive drinking that can be arrested, but never cured. It is a progressive illness that will only get worse as long as the person continues to drink. Total abstinence from drinking is the only way to arrest the disease. Alcoholism affects the entire family; indeed, everyone who has contact with the alcoholic is affected. Unfortunately, the only person who can stop the alcoholic from drinking is the alcoholic.

Who are alcoholics? 

They could be anyone, from all walks of life. Over 95 percent of alcoholics have families, friends, and jobs. They may function reasonably well, but some part of their life is suffering. Their drinking causes a continuing and growing problem in their lives and the lives they touch.

How do alcoholics affect families and friends? 

Alcoholism is a family disease. The disease affects all those who have a relationship with a problem drinker. Those of us closest to the alcoholic suffer the most. And those who care the most can easily get caught up in another person's behavior. We react to the alcoholic’s behavior. We focus on them, what they do, where they are, how much they drink…We try to control their drinking for them. We take on the blame, guilt, and shame that really belong to the drinker. We can become as addicted to alcohol as the alcoholic is to alcohol. We, too, can become ill.

How will Al-Anon help me?

Many who come to Al-Anon or Alateen are in despair, feeling hopeless and unable to believe that things can ever change. We want our lives to be different, but nothing we have done has brought about change. We all come to Al-Anon because we want and need help. In Al-Anon and Alateen, members share their own experience, strength, and hope with each other. You will meet others who share your feelings and frustrations, if not your exact situation. We come together to learn a better way of life, to find happiness, whether the alcoholic is drinking or not.